At A Youth Non-residential Camp 2023

During the last summer holiday as we like to call it in Nigeria, just as every other parent of a teenager and as a teen mentor, I took time to search for and plan fun events for my teens that can help them develop soft skills around emotional intelligence, networking, technical skills like financial literacy, online safety, and spiritual awareness on the reality of God’s existence and more.

Not one programme could deliver all that I wanted for my teens, so I had to plan and reach out to other organizations I know who are not only passionate about teens but also plan their programs to meet the ever-changing needs of teens and young adults.

This year, I signed my teens for one of the many Youths Non-residential Camp meetings. As most teens might react at first, my teens were not so excited about this initially, but at the end of the programme, which was five days after, they were reluctant to leave on the last day, I had to wait longer than I ought to as they were now having fun.

One major take away for me from this year’s meeting, came from one of the discussions I had with my teens, when they told me of a group assignment, they were given at the camp which was: “You have a friend who is plagued with suicidal thoughts, prayerfully create contents you can use to help your friend deal with their suicidal thoughts”.

They both shared their group’s ideas with me, which was very similar to what we had discussed during our own mentoring workshop where we brought a renowned psychologist to talk to and show teens practical steps on how to handle their emotions.

Emotions are Energy-In-Motion

Emotions which to me are energy-in-motion are always not an easy one to handle amongst teens and the earlier as parents we equip our teens with tools they can use to handle, control, or better manage it, the better. This kind of emotional training in my opinion is best communicated when they are not in any kind of emotional trauma, it gives them the advantage well ahead of time with a proactive mindset to act when the need arises.

Listening to my teens talk about their own group’s solution and that of all the other groups made me happy that I not only signed them up for this event, but also insisted that they attended even if they were not so excited about it at first. The content they had to create was not only a solution to their imaginary friend, but one they have stored in their subconscious mind, which I believe they will make good use of should the need arise. I believe in this age of information overload, it is better to be equipped with something and not use it, than to not have it when the need to make use of it arises.

The Death of a Young Nigerian Artist

The recent unfortunate death of a 27-year-old Nigerian musician brought me back to this training my teens received at the summer mentoring workshop. Why? I was talking with a group of teens about the death of this young Nigerian artist and though the cause of this artist death is not fully known, they have been so much talk around it has to do with depression arising from a bitter disengagement he might have had with his former record label. When I asked the group of teens what they taught happened, most kept saying they think this artist fell into depression due to the rejection he got from a crew he loved and thought he belonged to. Then it occurred to me, this sounds like a good reason for a young adult to harbor depressive or suicidal thoughts when you are rejected by your tribe or homies.

Rejection Amongst Teens and Young Adults

We cannot destroy energy; we can only convert it. The emotional pain that comes from any form of rejection cannot be destroyed; it can only be converted. Rejections for teens and young adults, could be in the form of being dropped from the school’s sports team, missing out on a scholarship, being kicked out of your BFF (Best friends for life) crew, losing out on the lead role in the school play, parent’s bitter divorce, relocation, the list can go on. As adults with experience, we might see teens as being childish with how they react to rejection. The truth is, try taking yourself back to when you were a teen and be honest with how you felt back then during your own moment of rejection? Didn’t you wish you were Superman or Wonder girl with powers that could make you get event with the other party?

I am not making excuses for our teens, not at all, I am just saying that as parents we should continue to do all we can to ensure we are exposing our teens to life’s skills that can help them deal with their emotions as life that we know will not always be a bed of roses. Back in the 90’s It was a taboo for a teenager to say I feel stressed over their schoolwork where ignoring it may not lead to anything catastrophic, but today such a statement it is a thing of utmost concern that needs paying attention to.

I pray that God comforts the family left behind by this young artist which includes his wife and their few months old baby. And for those of us still alive, do all you can to mentor a teenager each day, as your own contribution toward making the world a better place.

Bi-Weekly Virtual Mentoring Session Starting in October 2023

According to research, there is more information in one Sunday edition of the New York Times than the average person living in the Middle Ages would have consumed in an entire lifetime. Simply put, we are in the era of information overload and the best way to manage this, especially for teens, is to help them make good use of the information they already have.

Are you a parent of a teenager that has attended our mentoring workshop?  This is to inform you that To Be Honest with Uncle Kris is starting bi-weekly follow-up virtual mentoring sessions for teens between the ages of 9-16, where we would be using creative content to give teens practical steps to help them discover, develop, and deploy their potential as a continuation of things taught at the workshops.

This virtual meeting will be held during the weekend for at least an hour, twice a month, starting October 2023. Please send an email to tbhwithunclekris@gmail.com if you are interested so we can send you the link to register your teens.

Also, kindly subscribe to our newsletter for more tips on how to better connect and support your teens.

Thank you.

Chris Aluta

Teen Coach and Mentor

08035031491