Parenting Corner: Mirroring

A friend recently told me of how she saw a young boy around the age of 7 to 10 years old, in a bank.  The boy looked like a very dirty mechanic with very red eyes like someone who smokes marijuana, and as she was still trying to understand what could be going on in this young boy’s life, the boy’s dad walked into the bank and guess what?

According to my friend, the boy was just a carbon copy of his dad. His dad was also looking like a very dirty mechanic with very "Red Eyes". My friend said, when father and son were conversing, you could tell that they are very close and have huge respect for each other.

I once attended a behavioral change class where our lead facilitator touched on “Mirroring". “Mirroring is the behavior in which one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family” (Wikipedia).  We can mirror, tone of voice, body posture, facial expressions and more.

Parents as first role models are consciously and unconsciously mirroring to their pre-teens and teens, behavioral patterns that later become habits for their wards. There is lots of research that supports this notion and so it makes it very important that parents are fully aware of the behavior they are mirroring to their pre-teens and teens. Actions, they say, speak louder than words.

So, for example, when as a parent, you noticed a few negative values your kids may have picked up from outside, your response most times (if not all the time), would be to pounce on this negative behavior and work towards having it uprooted, which is good and commendable.

But here is the main one, what happens when it is a habit they are mirroring off “You”?

For example, let's say you noticed your teenager has a problem with punctuality and from careful observation they have mirrored this habit off you. What are you going to do about it? (Big smile on my face).

@Uncle kris

Mentor a teenager each day!