Teens and Dealing with Rejection Final Episode
Rejection comes in various shapes and sizes for teens and young adults. It is something they will experience it is only a matter of time. From their first crush not crushing back at them, to friends not showing up at their birthday party, losing out on their school sports team and more, rejection abounds in every phase of life. All these will trigger a negative energy-in-motion on their inside. This is why it is important we help them know ahead of time how to best manage rejection, bearing in mind that teens and young adults are still trying to figure out their identity and learning to regulate their energy-in-motion.
Earlier on this series, we started by recommending that we first acknowledge the rejection and call it what it is. No need to give it another name. Name it to tame it!
Our second recommendation was self-definition and growing from the experience.
The third recommendation we are adding today is Self-care and a Positive Nurturing Environment.
“It’s common to reject or punish yourself when you’ve been rejected by others. When you experience disappointment from the way your family or others treat you, that’s the time to take special care of yourself. What are you doing to nurture yourself? What are you doing to protect yourself? Find a healthy way to express your pain.” Christina Enevoldsen
Practice Self-Care, staying more in a Positive Nurturing Environment.
Self-Care, according to the World Health Organization, (WHO), is “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.
Self-care, unlike self-indulgence, speaks of any activity that we do deliberately to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical growth. This means activities that replenish and nourish us to stay balanced in body, mind, and spirit, keeping us fit and resilient in times of physical or emotional stress. (What Does “Self-Care” Really Mean? - New Roads Behavioral Health) For a teenager to practice true self-care, they must utilize personal responsibility and self-reliance in a way that positively impacts their health in the current moment and in the future.
Positive Nurturing Environment
Dr. Lisa Bahar, a US-based licensed marriage and family therapist describes a positive nurturing environment as one where the young adult going through rejection can go to that reminds them of their self-worth, previous victories, and the like. This, she says, includes self-soothing skills, which involve soothing each of your five senses. “It’s about creating a safe area emotionally, for yourself — really making a multi-sensory experience of your living environment, wherever that is, so that you have a place to heal.” Activities such as keeping your room tidy, painting with your favorite color, exercising, watching comedies and more fall into this category. The key thing here is to take deliberate steps towards caring for yourself and making sure you do this in a positive nurturing environment.
As we bring this series to a close, let me add that parents should also encourage their teens to keep a journal where they can define themselves, stating all their attributes, strengths, and the things they admire about themselves. With their permission you can go through it with them just to be sure they are not over flattering themselves but keeping it very real. And the next time they go through any form of rejection, ask them to pick up their journal which should remind them who they are.
This is all for today, thank you for reading, you can also listen to this on our podcast on Spotify Podcaster by clicking the link.
https://anchor.fm/krisoaluta/episodes/Teens-and-coping-with-Rejection-part-3-e2a7p1i
Please feel free to share your own experience, we would also love to learn from you.
Virtual Mentoring Session Starting in October 2023
Are you a parent of a teenager that has attended our mentoring workshop? This is to inform you that To Be Honest with Uncle Kris is starting bi-weekly follow-up virtual mentoring sessions for teens between the ages of 9-16, where we would be using creative content to give teens practical steps to help them discover, develop, and deploy their potential as a continuation of things taught at the workshops.
This virtual meeting will be held as follows:
Saturday 14th October and Saturday 28th October
Time is 5-6pm (Nigerian Time)
Please click the link below to register your teens.
https://forms.gle/nrKzPX8QgbeCcWvh9
or send an email to tbhwithunclekris@gmail.com for further enquiries.
Thank you.
Uncle Kris
Teen Coach & Mentor